Being On

Since Gavin has been born I have been taking more graduate courses and have not kept up with this blog. Last week I completed all my courses and turned in my graduation application. I am done with taking courses for at least a few months. I may continue with some seminary classes in the spring. In the meantime I hope to do some writing for this blog. I now have a counseling degree with an emphasis in Marriage and Family. However, I am a good ways away from being licensed, but I may just look at being ordained!

Currently, Gavin is 5 months old and is playing on the bed. He is reaching for toys, beards, fingers, and food! He likes licking carrots and apples (must be his mom in him) and trying to get people to smile back and him. He is also chuckling. He has the funniest little laugh. Lately, he is able to lift himself on all fours like a little monkey or in the downward dog position for all you yoga enthusiasts.

The most challenging aspect of being a stay at home dad is being "on" all day. When you are responsible for something you are working. Our brains do not distinguish the difference between paid work and non-paid work. When you are responsible for a baby boy your mind is constantly alert. This in itself is taxing. It would be kind of like being a security guard. Even though you may have to stay in one place all day and not "do anything" you are doing your job by ensuring that the environment that you are watching is safe and that nobody suspicious is around. It is mind engaging work. As I write this, Gavin is behind me on the bed and has begun to fuss. I know that my work here is drawing to a close. This is difficult because I would like to finish this task but my child needs me. For me switching tasks is difficult. Once I get started on something I like to finish it. So I am learning to train my mind to disengage and reengage on various tasks throughout the day. This process is contrary to my male nature and my temperament (For an excellent book on temperament see "The Spirit Controlled Temperament" by Lehaye). But I think that I will be able to handle it. The other day I was at the pediatricians office and was observing a mother and her two small children. It was obvious she was annoyed with her children. They wanted her to read her a book and she reluctantly agreed only to scold them for looking away as she began to read. She was burnt out and was beginning to resent her two little children for never allowing her to rest. This happens when parents go too long with "being on" and never taking a break. Parents need to have enough self-awareness to understand when they need some alone time. Denying themselves this time because they feel guilty or because they do not think they have the time will only hurt them and their children. Sometimes when Joy gets home and feeds Gavin I will withdrawal and just take some time to turn off my brain from the constant task of being aware of Gavin and what he is doing. This is so important.

Behind the Name

Gavin Job Metevier

Picking out the first name for Gavin was not extremely difficult. He is named after his grandpa, Gavin Archer. Grandpa Gav was an amazingly decent man who went out of his way to make me feel welcomed into his family. I pray that my Gavin will inherit his gifts of hospitality and friendliness. Grandpa Gav was also a remarkably charismatic man who had loads of friends. I was often surprised by how many people he knew and how many people loved him. Joy and I would often joke that he would steal our friends. Once we would introduce our friends to Grandpa Gav we would find out that they would be going to the movies or just hanging out. I also hope that my Gavin has the same likable personality. Unfortunately, Grandpa Gav passed away of a brain tumor almost three years ago. By naming our son after Gavin we honor his life.

The name Gavin is of Scottish and Welsh origin and means white falcon. The word "falcon" appears in the bible three times. The first two occurrences it is used in the context of birds that are not safe to eat. The last is used in Job 28:7 which states, “The path no bird of prey knows, Nor has the falcon’s eye caught sight of it." The passage is talking about man's insatiable appetite for gold, silver and other precious metals found in the earth. The author mentions that even the falcon's superior sight cannot finds such metals as the Lord has hidden them in the earth. As Mathew Henry points out, the Lord placed such precious metals out of sight so that we would not fix our eyes upon them. In any event, the passage builds upon what man's seeks to what man should seek. Man's heart is set upon riches but it should be set upon Godly wisdom. May Gavin be wise and seek the Lord rather than the riches that the world has to offer.

As Christianity spread throughout Europe many pagan symbols began to be incorporated into Christian art. Wild falcons represented the unconverted Gentile and sinful thoughts deeds and actions. The tamed falcon symbolized the Christian and their hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Raising Gavin will be interesting as his sin nature will rear its ugly head from time to time. However, I pray that he will come to know the Lord and be set free by the Holy Spirit to overcome and rely on the Lord on a daily basis. Interestingly, during the Middle Ages, paintings of falcons attacking hares depicted the victory of the Christian over lusty temptations. Further, the falcon represents the Holy Spirit which gives power to the Christian to live the Christian life, commune with God and overcome trials.

For Gavin's middle name Joy and I wanted a one syllable name as we thought it sounded good sandwiched between multi-syllable words. I went through long lists of names. Then we heard a sermon on the meaning of names and I decided that I wanted something uniquely biblical. The name "Job" means persecuted. In the Bible Job was called blameless and upright and is proverbial for patience under suffering. I wish no suffering upon my son, especially the overwhelming events that happened to Job, but the idea is that we will all be persecuted and suffer in this world and it is my prayer that Gavin will do so with patience and character. Now Metevier is French for "Harvester" and blending the meaning behind my son's names we get the idea of a tamed falcon soaring over persecution by the means of the Holy Spirit to harvest. Biblically harvesting is used as a symbol for "harvesting souls for the Lord." Perhaps then Gavin will be an evangelist. Of course is does not really matter what he becomes we will love him all the same.

And so our prayer for Gavin is that, "the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13).

The Birth

As Joy and I prepared for Gavin's delivery our prayer was that giving birth would be work for Joy, but not overwhelmingly painful or uncomfortable. Genesis speaks of giving birth involving pain and suffering. Examining the Hebrew word for pain in Genesis 6:13 it seems the emphasis is on the work involved with labor. The NASB dictionary describes the Hebrew word for pain here as "hard earned goods." I particularly like this idea as the pain and work are given meaning. The "goods" are the reward for the strenuous effort. Anyone can relate to earning something of value with hard work. The reward is worth the effort as Jesus himself mentions, "Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world (John 16:21)." This was amazingly true as Gavin took his first breath and began to cry. The pain and toil that had been on Joy's face was immediately erased as Gavin was put upon her chest. Gavin's cries brought great smiles to our faces.

The Lord answered our prayer and expectation for childbirth. On Thursday May 20th, 2010 at 10:45 PM Joy and I were lying in bed when her water broke. We immediately called the midwife and mentioned that Joy's contractions were about 5 minutes apart. The midwife suggested that we stay at home and wait until her contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and she was unable to speak through them. I ate leftover enchiladas and went back to bed while Joy sat on the couch. At 12:30PM Joy woke me up and said that it was time to go. Joy and I had been through 15 hours of Lamaze and knew how to breathe through the contractions, but Joy seemed to be wanting to using the breathing technique for transition. Transition is the most difficult part of labor and represents the dilation of the cervix from 7-10cm. Being sure that my wife could not yet be in transition I encouraged her to use breathing techniques that were less dramatic. We arrived at the hospital at 1:00AM and it was obvious that Joy was having major contractions. She was wheel chaired up to Labor and delivery and I parked the car and brought up all of our gear which included a Bose sound system, enough food to survive a Tsunami, several cameras, and of course my lucky lightsaber (okay I didn't bring the lightsaber). The midwife checked Joy's dilation and asked us to guess. We thought maybe five centimeters. The midwife said nine and Joy threw up both arms praising the Lord. We started using the proper breathing techniques. Well folks by the time Joy got to her delivery room she had about three more contractions and was ready to push. However, being a good daughter Joy wanted to talk to her Mom before pushing. Between labored breathes Joy was able to say a few sentences to her mom and then she began to push. Watching my wife push was the easily the most exciting part of delivery. As she worked I could see my son's hairy head begin to appear. After maybe 20 minutes of pushing I witnessed the craziest thing I have ever seen in my life. Nuff said. Gavin was immediately put on Joy's chest and began to root around for her breast. I cut the cord and then we took him a few feet away to clean him up.

Several hours later, having that little guy lay on my chest for the first time and wiggle around was one of the highlights of my life. I could not help think of how the Lord must feel when one of his children is born again. There is an intimacy that is pure satisfaction, joy, bliss that comes from being close to your newborn child. Lord hold all three of us close that you may delight in us as we delight in you and each other. Lord we love you. Gavin Job Metevier we love you.